Abe, Honest

About thirty years ago I met a professional Abraham Lincoln impersonator. I don’t remember what his day job was, but his side gig was going around to various historical functions abd playing Lincoln. it wasn’t enough to support him, of course, but there was more call for that sort of thng than you’d imagine,and he made 5 or 10 grand a year on the side.

when I first saw him, he was in a line in a cafeteria Getting lunch. It was all an accident of birth, of course, but he looked just like Abe. Same big forehead, same gangly body, horseface, high cheekbones, same unfortunate beard and….Wayfarer sunglasses.

Damn, there was just something cool about Lincoln in sunglasses, you know? They suited him. He didn’t just look presidential or iconic, he looked cool.

As soon as we were both through the line, I walked over to him and said,

“Excuse me sir, I’m sorry to bother you, but do you know you look *just* like someone…”

“So I’ve been told,” he said.

“Abe Vigoda,” I said. “You look just like Abe Vigoda, from Barney Miller, and also from his own short-lived spinoff, ‘Fish.’ Remember that show? You probably get people telling you that all the time, but it’s uncanny how much you look like him.”

He stared at me in confusion for a beat, and then just about blew out his lungs laughing. Which is also not someing you ever see. You don,t ever get to see lincoln laughing, or wearing cool sunglasses, and certainly not at the same time.

I grinned and excused myself, and went to eat my lunch

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