Why California Leaving the US is a VERY BAD idea for California

This is an open letter to the people of California, intended to express why secession from the United States (“CalExit”) is a disastrously bad idea for you, and a pretty terrible one for the rest of the world as well.  Before we begin, I’m a political radical. My toenail clippings are probably more liberal than Bernie Sander’s entire body. I recognize that these appear to be pretty dark times for the US. However no night is ever so black that foolish actions can’t make them even worse. So, here are a few things for your consideration:

In no particular order:

1) It’s illegal. In the court case “White vs. Texas” (1869) the Supreme court of the United States ruled that unilateral secession is illegal, because, I guess, 750,000 dead people in the Civil War didn’t make that plain enough.  If you want your country to respect “Rule of Law,” you’re off to a bad start.

2) It’s Unamerican. You think, “Well, duh,” but let’s take that a little further: In the 49 loyal states, Democrats would be seen as traitors and cowards, much like they were after the Civil War. That war crippled your party for two generations. What that translates out to in modern times is that if you leave, no decent American would every vote Democrat in the other 49 ever again. You’d be handing the country over to the Republicans for generations.

Furthermore, once you talk about leaving you completely invalidate your opinion, and right to talk about problems in the US.

2) It’s Undemocratic. If California decides to leave, it means “I only believe in Democracy when I win,” and “I’m only American when it suits me.” Added to which, California is overwhelmingly Democrat. Pretty much by definition you’d be setting up a one-party democracy, which is pretty much the foundation of an authoritarian regime. More on this later.

3) It’s pretty cowardly. “We could stand and fight and organize and vote and work, but instead, we’d rather just pack up our ball and go home.”

4) You will tank the world economy.  This is a big one: Firstly: The US Dollar is the most stable currency in the world. So stable that 8 other countries use it as their legal currency. (really) 29 other countries use it as their unofficial currency because their local stuff is a joke. 27 other countries have their currencies pegged to the US dollar, which means that a Belize dollar is always equal to 50 US cents, regardless of what the US dollar is worth internationally at the time. Now, the overwhelming majority of these countries are very, very poor, as you’d expect. Leaving the US would obviously cause a stock market crash the likes of which the world has never seen, and it would trash the dollar. Wouldn’t destroy it, but it’d trash it. What that means is that in leaving the US you’d destroy the economies of 64 other nations. Poor nations. Nations that are on the edge of starvation now. So your secession ends up with people all over the world dying of starvation, or reduced to homelessness, all to serve your selfish fanaticism.

Very humane of you! If you’re looking for a national motto, may I suggest “Pedicabo ego et Ceteri?”

5) Let’s discuss your own economy, too:  You’d need to come up with your own currency, as US currency would be void for obvious reasons. That means you’d have to go with fiat, or take out huge loans (Probably from China), or deal with runaway inflation.

Being as you’re not a member of NAFTA, you’d get no benefits from that, meaning big tariffs. That’s assuming you could get anyone to trade with you. I mean the US certainly would completely boycott you, right? That’s, what, at least a third of your economy? And Canada would be pissed because you trashed their economy, too, and also ‘cuz they don’t want to piss us off. Mexico might want to play with you, but then again you’d have plunged them into even worse poverty.

What about close allies of the US? If they have to choose between a short-lived rebel state like you, and their centuries-long relationships with the US, guess who they’ll choose. Because they know you’ll lose, and don’t want to back a losing horse, particularly because they need the other horse. This might not last forever, but if the US tells Japan “Boycott them,” Japan definitely will. Your primary trading partners will be China and Russia, and do you REALLY wanna climb into bed with them?

6) The US actually feeds about 1/3rd of the world directly or indirectly. Most of that food we give away, or sell below cost, as humanitarian decency. If you tank the world economy, we can’t afford to do that anymore, we’d have to take care of our own selves. That means people in the third world starve. Way to go, California! Your commitment to diversity and equal rights for all races will have caused countless deaths in countries full of non-white people! Well done! (That was sarcasm)

If you think I’m wrong about this, consider the food riots in the Philippines and Asia about a decade ago. During the Ethanol boom, US grain production shrank, as corn was more lucrative. This meant other countries didn’t get enough grain. People starved. People rioted. People died, man. Is your quest for Kalifornia Uber Alles worth the life of a single starving child? If you think it is, you’re just a terrible, terrible person.

7) So how much of California would you actually get to keep?  There’s about 100 Indian reservations in California. These are not in any way subject to the Californian government, and in fact by your own state laws and Federal and Tribal laws and even UN agreements, they’re not part of California at all. If they don’t wanna go, then what are you gonna do? Round ’em up? Throw ’em out? Surround them with troops? Go back to playing Cowboys and Indians to the death like your ancestors did?

On that subject, your military bases are US property. You’re not just going to inherit Vandenberg AFB and the San Diego naval base. Those are going to stay loyal to the US, and if you try to take them by force, they will kill you. Probably smiling while they do it. There are 100,000 US troops in your state. Most of them are not from California, and wouldn’t feel any particular loyalty to you you. Even those who are from your state may not feel any particular loyalty for traitors. Many a Southerner went north and signed on with the Union Army, you know.

Then there’s the millions of acres of other federal lands in your state which you have no say over. You just try to nationalize them and more than likely the military will kill you, probably with smiles on their faces.

8) Internal Opposition:  31% of your state voted Trump. That’s 4.5 million people. If you decide to secede, do you think you can stop that many people? Do you think you have the right to force your will on that many people with an illegal law? They’re mostly rural. they control the overwhelming majority of the state. If they don’t want to sell food to you – and they wouldn’t – what do you do? Force them? How democratic. Nationalize their farms? Good choice. Hitler, Stalin, Mao, and Castro were big on that.

If you try that, and they fight back, what do you do? You’re looking at a classic Vietnam situation where you control the cities, and they control the countryside.  You can’t do anything without them, and you WILL NOT have them.

8) World War III: Let’s talk about US’s military obligations overseas. NATO? Gone. At present we provide about 75% of their operating costs. If you tank the economy, we couldn’t afford to support NATO, and we’d have to divert resources to fight or contain you. Once the Arab world realizes we can’t support Israel, how long do you think it’d take ’em to invade? And how long do you think it’d take to wipe ’em off the map? And how many hundreds and thousands of Jews would die? Maybe millions? Of course Die faschistische Nation von Kalifornien doesn’t care about Jews.

With an aggressive Russia, the adversarial Japanese/Chinese relationship, and the mere existence of North Korea, the world is very reliant on the US as World Cop, even though I don’t like us having that job. It’s not a stretch to imagine your secession resulting in effectively a third world war. And remember: With Russia and China being pretty much your major trading powers, you’re their bitch throughout the war.

I’m not being ludicrous here. There are all very likely outcomes.

9) Finally, there’s the question of whether your nation would last the night. Assume you secede. The process leading up to that vote would take months. Months during which the US would have plenty of time to put together SEAL teams, extraction teams, Marine Force Recon teams, you name it. Once you sign the deal and light your fireworks, they’d come in. I’d guess within 24-72 hours tops, your entire government would be cooling their heels in Guantanamo Bay.

Bottom line, guys: it’s a whiny bitch move. You can’t win, you’ll kill a lot of people, destroy yourselves in the process, AND you’ll end up permanently pushing the country in directions you don’t want it to go.

Just something to think about.

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